One of the biggest lessons I needed to learn in life is to see people for who they really are and not an illusion of what I wanted them to be. I needed to recognize true colors (intentions) of individuals who were in my life: family, friends, and acquaintances. I needed to remove the pedestals from people who I thought knew better than me how to live life. In my darkest hour, some individuals who were not obligated in any way to be there for me showed up. Some people who I knew all my life, fell to the waste side. It taught me the strength of human behavior and finding out who are my real friends.
Also, it has taught me (still teaching me) when to hold on and when to let go. Anything you hold onto that is meant to be set free will drag you down into despair. I have watch people who cannot let go of the past display a false persona towards life and others. It is not enough to be true to others; you must be true to yourself too. We all want to be accepted and please other people, sometimes out of a conditional fear stemming from a childhood of wanting to be liked and not wanting to disappoint others. However, you should never put yourself on a sacrificial plate and forfeit your authentic self just to be accepted and loved by others who, after scratching the surface, do not give a damn about you or what is going on in your life. When you know someone cares, a person’s caring is shown through actions, not merely words. You soon figure out if a person’s caring is genuine or there is a hidden agenda.
Therefore, it is important to develop self-awareness. To be self-aware is to know yourself. When you know yourself, you become aware of how you feel around the people in your life. The word “energy” comes to mind. Even though the word energy or vibe has been linked to the New Age movement, even in other religions talk about, “You will know them by their fruit.” To be more specific, do you feel better around certain people or do you feel worse after sharing your problems or triumphs? Do you have people in your life trying to make you second guess your decisions, dismissive, and try to tell you how to feel? Do you have people in your life offering constructive feedback, empathy, and encouragement? You must be in touch with your emotions to be able to recognize who and what is best for your life.
The greatest gift for yourself is to set free what you cannot change and live for today. Also, we need self-awareness in order to love and accept ourselves. Anyone that treats you less, when you love yourself, you will not tolerate, and you will not allow the person to remain in your life.
Just for Today
I will pay attention to how I feel around people I know and getting to know. By taking the time to get to know someone or pay attention how I feel around people in my life, it will reveal a person’s true colors to me. I will continue relationships built on mutual trust and respect. I will pay attention to my thoughts and feelings through self-awareness, and when something does not feel right, I will not be dismissive about it. As I continue to have a loving relationship with myself and be authentic, I will be able to be authentic with others and develop loving relationships.
Just for today, I will accept people’s true colors as they are and not try to repaint them as I want to see them.