Setting boundaries are essential for loving yourself and maintaining healthy relationships. Setting a limit is a loving thing to do when you assert yourself, “You can come this far.” The importance of personal boundaries is to teach people how to treat us and is the building blocks of respect and trust. The people who honor our boundaries are the people we want in our life.
If someone crosses a boundary unknowingly, we set a limit, and in time we find out if our message was received or not. If a boundary continues to get cross, we may inform the person, “If this continues to happen, I may have to make changes in the relationship or discontinue the relationship altogether.” As the saying goes, “We teach people how to treat us.” Sometimes we do not set a limit with ourselves, and we disclose information too soon to someone who may not have earned our trust. By trial and error – wisdom and experience, we set boundaries and have realized the importance of people earning their trust and respect as a way to have a place in our life.
Once again, it is essential to your emotional well-being to have and to set healthy, personal boundaries. Let me make one thing clear – until you can set boundaries without feeling guilty or shame and revert to an unhealthy pattern, you will stand the chance of continually being controlled, a doormat, taking advantage of, worse yet abused, or all the above. If this is you, you may want to look at patterns of people pleasing or codependency issues. Remember, we have a personal right to take care of ourselves in any given situation.
Just for Today
I will remember I have a personal right and freedom to think, feel, and pursue my life as I see fit. I have a right to my space and how close or far I want to allow someone to be. When someone continually crosses my boundaries, and I allow it, I am forfeiting my freedom, happiness, and personal rights of standing up for myself.
If I have had difficulty setting boundaries in the past, I can start today by letting people know how far they can go and why. I can practice by saying no to situations I do not feel comfortable with or re-evaluate relationships with people who may have gotten in the habit of crossing my personal boundaries. Regardless of unhealthy past patterns, I can start setting healthier boundaries and build healthier relationships today.
By setting personal boundaries and communicating what is and is not acceptable will encourage the people in my life to do the same. I will practice setting boundaries and to know it is a loving thing to do for myself and to build healthier relationships with others.
Just for today, I know who I am and what is acceptable and unacceptable. In good faith, I will set healthy boundaries today.